My fears are personal, silly things

She said, looking down and away

A grass snake flees her moving feet

They never visit me in the day

 

They creep in with a nightime hush

A spider runs from her little hand

Noiseless half-memories of past

Banished to my heart’s wasteland

 

My fears belong to me alone

A rabbit’s pulse begins the race

Embedded in my very genes

And in the lines around my face

 

But am I so different from you jay?

She asks the cawing bird as it flies

You warn yourself of coming days

You read your fears on stormy skies

On the day you were born

A circle opened wide

Offering a new womb

And a place of beginning

 

On the day you were born

You became a creator

The artist with every hue

And the world bent down

 

On the day you were born

Other circles closed in completion

And wept for the joy of you

One beautiful awaited link

 

Always remember the day you were born

When Alpha and Omega meant nothing

When there were no angels

There was only newness and a call

The thought of you meets me

Between sleep and tomorrow

Reminding me of an old loss

I can see every detail of you

Scent creeps through my airways

Like spiders on a tree

And I pray that I will not be bitten

There are memories too tender

Meant for the secret places of a soul

But I drift away into another place

And your baby feathers brush my cheek

Believe in the feeling

A washed-out paleness

It’s no way to live

All things need the light

Even those hidden truths

The ones you ignore

Or cover with cloth

They snake up your neck

Reside on your face

A weary smile talks

Needle to need

One truth in skin

A flood of the bleed

And relief within

Ink becomes road

Black becomes light

A personal ode

Expression of might

A promise foretold

Only for one

No longer the cold

Heat from a sun

So you say I’ve hurt you

Damage beyond repair

But you’ve skipped  the question

What did I spare?

 

For you, I was patient

For you, I relived

The ugliness of absence

When you’ve nothing to give

 

I remember the coldness

Up late at night

Near a body so toxic

I abandoned the fight

 

To matter so little

That your fears come first

Then  blamed like I wanted

To give you my worst

 

I’m no longer living

To love second-rate

I want to see presence

Wake.  Or feel too late

Just two old rabbits one late afternoon

That fading sun makes golden-washed beauties

Of tired fur and long exhausted bones

Until even they remember they are gods

Not listening, I  still hear

Your choices groan

Soft sheets are stone

I  try to forgive

 

Factor out what you deserve

 Useless inquiry anyway

 Whatever helps me stay…

That’s what I concede

 

But the question begs

Deep into night, I wake

 Live with what you make

Stop trying so damn hard

 

Perhaps there’s no hope

Perhaps sighs are cues

Give that girl her dues

Let her let it die

 

Known extinct awhile

Give another girl a turn

You’ve  nothing left to learn

Step into a nameless crowd

You never listened to me

Know how I can tell?

The other day you asked me a question

Gave me the answer to it all

You’re the sort of man who thinks he does…

But dead don’t hear

No way you’ve got a heartbeat

I have screamed until I was sick for you

All it got me was the look

That mocking back rub

Now I’m sick at the sight of you

You’re deaf to the sound of me

Too bad.  Told you beautiful things

There you go

And I explode

One more round

Not moving

Inch back or

Feel my blow

Not afraid

To break you

Like to know

What’s inside

If anything

Curious

Took it far

Way too far

Now You’re stuck

Face to face

Fist to fist

Woman, yes!

Warrior proud

You are fucked